


now you come alive with the world at your side

by madfatty



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madfatty/pseuds/madfatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my very first MMFD fic. It’s Finn and, wait for it… Linda. It’s the morning after the night Rae and Finn “didn’t talk”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	now you come alive with the world at your side

Apparently he hasn’t heard the car pull up out the front or the clunking of the car’s dodgy gearbox as Karim drives away again in the pre-dawn gloom towards the first of his three shifts today. He also hasn’t heard her heels clacking down the side path as she draws up around the corner of the house, digging in her handbag for her house keys. In the briefest of moments, before he is aware that he is no longer alone, she has the opportunity to study him. Finn Nelson looks tired, but content. She knows how he feels. His brow creases as he draws in a lungful of smoke, holding it for a tiny eternity before releasing it to ascend and evaporate in the chill morning air. She hadn’t had much to do with him in the short time he and Rae had been going out but he’s always seemed such a serious young man; a heart too heavy for one so young. She thinks of her Rae, how she’s had to struggle with the weight of the world for so long that Linda almost can’t remember a time when she didn’t think of her daughter as fragile. Linda thinks how perfectly the odd edges of them fit together; his light easing her darkness, her colours tinting his monochrome. She’s tempted to leave him to it for just a little longer - he and Rae have so much to work through - but its fucking freezing and it’s been a long night at the hospital and she could brutally murder a cup of tea.

“So…’she starts, her voice loud and abrupt in the early morning silence, startling him out of his reverie. “You’re back then?” She lets her gaze travel the length of his body, waiting for it to dawn on him that he’s standing there in his underwear. 

Finn jumps at the sudden sound, an involuntary high-pitched gasp leaving his lips as his heart pounds in his chest. They were supposed to have the house to themselves. Rae had said that her mum and Karim had been camping out at the hospital since Mrs Bouchtat had been released. He’d only come outside for a quick cigarette, with every intention of rushing back to warm himself around the sweet, soft, beautiful girl sleeping soundly upstairs but as was usually the case, his thoughts had come crowding in, threatening to unsettle the tentative peace he’d found in the circle of her arms. He wrestled them back, determined to savour the feeling of contentment for as long as he could.

“Mrs Boushtat! Hello. I got back last night. How’re you feeling?” he stutters. His arms wrap awkwardly around himself in a feeble attempt to hide his state of undress.

“You’ve seen Rae, I take it?” she continues, ignoring his question altogether. His eyes dart to the first floor of the house as he tries not to meet Linda’s laser-like stare. He completely misses the teasing tone of her voice and the slight quirk of her lips before his voice is cracking a little, breaking the word “yeah…”into two syllables and even if it’s still too dark at the moment for her to see, she knows he’s blushing. She almost feels sympathetic. It’s not her intention to torture him. He’s a good lad and she likes him but she doesn’t mind the idea of making him squirm a little. She doesn’t want him thinking that she’s entirely comfortable with him having sex with her almost seventeen year old daughter.

“Do you think we could continue this inside, Finn?” she cuts him off; “I’m freezing my tits off out here. You can make yourself useful and make a cup of tea.”

“’Course, “he says, erupting into action. In one fluid movement he flicks the remains of his cigarette into the garden, reaches to relieve her of her overnight bag and slides the back door open, standing back for her to enter the house. Linda steps passed him and heads to the breakfast bar, lowering herself onto the kitchen stool with a deep sigh.

Finn places her bag on the settee and then heads straight to the kettle, gathering the makings for tea on the counter.

“How’s Minnie? How-how’s the baby?” Bloody Minnie. He’ll have gotten that from Rae. It had become a bit of a running joke in the family. They were still negotiating a name but Linda thinks it won’t matter what they eventually decide on, the littlest Bouchtat will forever after be known as Minnie.

“She’s doing better, thanks love. She has to see the paediatric surgeon this afternoon but if he’s happy with her progress, she can come home in a day or two.” Linda exhales, finally allowing herself to feel hopeful about the future.

“That’s good news. Rae’ll be pleased.” He says then falls into silence as the kettle comes to a boil and he busies himself with the tea.

“Sit with me for a minute.” she says as he places the cup in front of her. They both contemplate the sweet, steaming contents of their mugs before Linda begins, choosing her words far more cautiously than she would normally. “Finn, about Rae…”

His whole countenance brightens and softens at the mention of her daughter’s name. He’s melting before her very eyes. He’s not a talker, anyone can see that. His gaze refuses to meet hers at first; his speech is halted with his voice low and hesitant. His eyes glance searchingly to the mug he clutches, as if it holds exactly the words he needs to make himself understood. But soon enough he forgets to hesitate and he speaks with quiet determination. Linda is quite aware that he’s talking about Rae in the long term but she’s not as frightened as she thought she would be. He begins by apologising for not understanding before but says that he does now and he promises Linda that he won’t run away again.

Because he’d figured out for certain in Leeds what he’d suspected all along: he loves Rae and he won’t let anything stop them being together; not even them, because all leaving had proved to him was that they were better together.

He tells Linda how Rae is meant for great things and how important it is for Rae to go back to college and how he’s going to make sure that happens. That he knows she can cope with it this time because he’ll help her. That if he has to, he’ll go back too. Anything. Anything she wants. He repeats his offer to be her chauffeur; to the hospital, to college, extends the offer to Linda herself if Karim has to work. Even offers his baby sitting services. He can help out around the house too, until he finds a job; he’s had plenty of experience what with it being just him and his dad at home.

Linda watches Finn closely as he pours out all his plans in her tiny little kitchen as the sunlight strengthens through the window. Her heart goes out to him. It all goes by so fast, she wants to tell him. Please don’t grow up too fast. Please don’t be in a rush to be an adult with adult responsibilities. Be a kid for as long as you can manage it. Be good to Rae, of course, but don’t forget to be good to yourself as well. Don’t look back in years to come and regret the things you didn’t get to do. She really hopes her Rachel can finally see what she is to this lad and that she’ll be more careful with his heart this time around. He’s special, this one. Tears prick the corners of her eyes and Linda finds it difficult to swallow around the sudden lump burning in her throat. Jesus Christ. Bloody hormones and no sleep are making her soft.

The big lecture she’d planned on giving him about going slow and taking their time and about not making her a grandmother any time soon dies on her tongue. It’d be a waste of time and words. From where she’s sitting, he seems to have it all figured out. Besides, she can’t keep her bloody eyes open and there’s always tomorrow. Linda drains her cup and pushes herself up from the table, not even bothering to stifle a yawn. “Bed time…,” she says “for you too, young man.”

Finn nods nervously but stays seated, unsure if he should discreetly return to the sweet comfort of a sleeping Rae or set up camp downstairs on the settee. Linda picks up their empty cups and as she turns towards the sink, lays her free hand on Finn’s shoulder, giving it an awkward squeeze. After a moment, he places a cautious hand over hers, his fingers curling gently around her fingers. The moment extends far longer than either would normally be comfortable with until Linda pats his shoulder a little too vigorously, loosening his hold on her and says “Here, enough of that. Back upstairs with you now… we’re all going to need to be well-rested for the onslaught of Miss Minnie. She’s got a set of lungs on her, that one and she’s not afraid to use them.”

He stands then, both of them wincing when the chair drags along the kitchen floor and he turns towards the stairs. “And don’t think there won’t be a full and frank discussion about the sleeping arrangements when I’m more awake, Finn Nelson. And you’ll have to deal with Karim when he gets home, so enjoy it while it lasts…”

Finn smiles sheepishly and wishes Linda good night. “Oh, and Finn?” Linda calls to him as he reaches the bottom of the stairs.

“Yes Mrs Boushtat?”

“Welcome home, love.”


End file.
